Two days later I woke up and went for a pee. As soon as I opened the door to the head compartment I was affronted by a very obnoxious odour. ‘One of us must have forgotten to flush properly’ I thought, peed, and pumped away vigorously thinking the whole thing was done and sorted. Not so. Sarah went in there a couple of minutes later and the smell was back. I attempted to find the source.

Following vigorous pumping, the source was kind enough to reveal itself. Or a bit of itself anyway. Two long, limp tentacles extended down into the bowl. Attempts to extract the deceased owner failed. It would have to come out the other way……….

We detached the intake hose and filled the bowl in the hope that the water would run in reverse and flush it out. No luck. After some brief discussion, a plan was formed. One of those plans that Baldrick might have described as being fox-like in the magnitude of it’s cunning. We employed the services of a wet/dry vacuum cleaner. Strategically-placed kitchen towel around the inside edge of the bowel maximised suction in the area that our resident was occupying. The ‘thunk’ as it was sucked through the hose and into the vacuum cleaner was wonderfully satisfying.

Upon close inspection of the contents of the vacuum cleaner, it appeared that a small octopus had taken up residence in the inlet hose for the head. It didn’t turn out well for either the octopus or us but I feel the octopus received the worst end of the stick. Imagine being happily settled in your new home only to be sucked up into someone’s toilet!

We had a good chortle about it afterwards. I’m sure there must be a website somewhere where one can type in a problem they are having with their toilet and an ‘online plumber’ will respond with a solution to the symptoms they are experiencing. I’m sorely tempted to find it if such a thing exists and see what their advice to ‘octopus stuck in flushing system’ might be .

The moment when the situation began to reveal itself:

The cunning Plan:

The unfortunate (for the octopus) result: